You must look for beacons in a world where the darkness is becoming suffocating. There will always be some, here and there, the odd chink of light for you to latch onto: perhaps you happen to witness one of your several nemeses spill affogato down a pristine white T-shirt; maybe Sainsbury\u2019s has started selling that variant of Boursin you\u2019ve always liked; and there\u2019s always the Guardian Blind Date. Whether it\u2019s a couple of clean-shirts talking about the Hadron Collider over a chewy quattro stagioni, or two horned-up PR managers ripping off each other\u2019s Uniqlo shackets, there\u2019s always some pleasure to be wrung from it.<\/p>\n
And today\u2019s is no exception! Please welcome to the stage Ruth, 38, and a school support worker and 35-year-old archaeologist Stacy. So Mrs McCluskey and River Song, basically. (I know Mrs McCluskey wasn\u2019t a school support worker but I struggled to find any well-known school support workers in popular culture so you will have to go with me on this alleged \u2018joke\u2019, thank you.)<\/p>\n Let\u2019s see what each of them had to say in the Guardian<\/a>\u2018s most terrifying questionnaire since they surveyed their readership about its voting intentions in 2019, before returning here for a few highlights.<\/p>\n This makes you wonder what kind of miserable date situation Ruth has found herself in before. Sometimes, you arrive and you\u2019re just like, \u2018oh no, I can\u2019t stare at those facial expressions for ninety minutes over a prawn yaki udon, I\u2019m going to nope out\u2019 but more often than not, you just endure it because, even though you know you will never see this person again once you\u2019ve both done that awkward tango around splitting the bill and trying to work out the tip \u2013 and going \u2018oooooh\u2019 if one of you pays with your watch \u2013 you somehow don\u2019t want to leave this future stranger with a bad impression.<\/p>\n Are sporty people normally chill? Aren\u2019t they usually signing up for ultramarathons and whining at you to get up off the sofa and join them for some kind of team-based exertion in a room full of \u2018equipment\u2019 that\u2019s lit like the toilets of a KFC drive-thru?<\/p>\n I reckon she fancies her!<\/p>\n Nerves aren\u2019t necessarily bad news on a date. I know we\u2019ve all seen the rom-coms where nerves turn people into bumbling wrecks who spill water over the table and accidentally say \u2018breasts\u2019 every five seconds or something but nerves can actually keep you alert to both your own potentially weird behaviour and that of your date. And nerves are just excitement with a different cardigan on, anyway.<\/p>\n How great Les Mis\u00e9rables is.<\/strong> I am happy for them, and as much as I enjoyed Anne Hathaway\u2019s snot-and-tears version of \u2018I Dreamed a Dream\u2019, Les Mis\u00e9rables<\/em> is not for me. Also, there is something quite emetic about the way the theatre showing it in London has \u2018Les Miz\u2019 on the side of it in giant letters. MIZ. No. I hate it so much. Imagine how Susie Dent must feel.<\/p>\n How hilariously excited our friends were at this blind date.<\/strong> Would you tell your friends you were going on this? I wouldn\u2019t. I would just wait for the WhatsApp to explode on publication day, and then deny it was me.<\/p>\n The joys of going to bed early.<\/strong> I wouldn\u2019t say it was a joy but, finally, after years of fighting it, I have been forced to admit that going to bed at a decent time and not feeling all day the next day like you\u2019ve been reincarnated as a mop that\u2019s cleaned the entire lower deck of the QE2 \u2013 including all toilets \u2013 makes life a bit easier.<\/p>\n Concepts of home.<\/strong> I\u2019m guessing this is more of a lightly philosophical back-and-forth about leaving your hometown and maybe travelling to their places and living there a short while than a quick flick through the Swoon catalogue looking at sofas.<\/p>\n Oh, you know, sharing. Forks in the air, \u2018scuse fingers<\/em>, \u2018how many of those have I had?\u2019 \u2013 just not my thing. I shared some dough balls between three last night and working out who deserved the last one between three of us was like a numbers round on Countdown<\/em> where the other contestant \u2013 who has the icy exterior of the kind of man who does a hit and run in an ITV drama \u2013 has selected \u2018five from the top\u2019. (I split it with my partner.)<\/p>\n I like these two. They seem to have their heads screwed on and, as you can see from the conversation topics, have clearly connected on a deeper level, moving to corners of your mind you might not usually explore on a first date. Look, I\u2019m all for the clueless heterosexuals either semi-frotting in a cocktail bar or being egregiously rude to one another about house prices in a shabby Las Iguanas, but perhaps those of us who have lived a life feeling very much in the minority have an ability to cut through the nonsense a little quicker*. Now, I\u2019ve said that, next week will be two theatre gays who end up snorting midori out the bottle in a fetish sauna but we are who we are, I guess.<\/p>\n *(Also, no men being present on a date means there\u2019s usually one less person behaving like an arse.)<\/p>\n Cold water swimming gets a bad rap now, doesn\u2019t it? Like anything that\u2019s mentioned more than five times in the weekend supplements written exclusively for upper-middle white people who live in the three smartest streets of N1, it\u2019s ripe for mockery. Like quinoa, private schools, Ottolenghi cookbooks, consciously uncoupling, naming your terrifying children Severus or Redwood, or hating your in-laws because they say \u2018loo\u2019 instead of \u2018lavatory\u2019.<\/p>\n CUTE<\/strong>, like being booped on the nose by [insert non-problematic, hot famous person here] CARING<\/strong>, like hypoallergenic hand wash. This was a daytime date, so they went to Primrose Hill after and took one of those selfies at the top, the kind where you try to get with your face and the distant skyline in but it never really works and there are always too many tourists doing exactly the same, blocking your sightline with their pneumatic puffa jackets. (I was at the little food market next to PH a couple of Saturdays ago and can recommend the stall serving masala hot chocolate.) Anyway, isn\u2019t this great to see?<\/p>\n Two people having a nice lunch, amiably sat-navving their way through life\u2019s trivia, then climbing a medium-sized hill and gazing out at London\u2019s intimidating, incredible, ridiculous sprawl and enjoying every second. If you stay very still for a minute and read their answers again, you can almost feel that life-affirming, fresh and hopeful air from the top of Primrose Hill rushing into your lungs. Today might not be the best day for a lot of us, but it is here, and so are we, and if that\u2019s all we\u2019ve got, it\u2019s more than others.<\/p>\n I can hear the gasps from here, but 9 is a very good score and it sounds to me like a second 10 is scheduled in for a later date.<\/p>\n \u00a0<\/p>\n Like this? Cool! Support my work with a small online donation<\/a><\/p>\n Subscribe to my Substack<\/a> \u2013 paid and free options available. Latest piece was on life\u2019s inescapable countdowns and is free to read. READ NOW<\/a><\/p>\n Find out more about my three novels and perhaps buy one! MORE INFO<\/a><\/p>\n The comments I make are based on answers given by participants. The Guardian chooses what to publish and usually edits answers to make the column work better on the page. Most things I say are riffing on the answers given and not judgements about the daters themselves, so please be kind to them in comments, replies, and generally on social media. Daters are under no obligation to get along for our benefit, or explain why they do, or don\u2019t, want to see each other again, so please try not to speculate or fill our feeds with hate. If you\u2019re one of the daters, <\/i>get in touch<\/a><\/em>\u00a0if you want to give me your side of the story.\u00a0What\u2019s wrong with being\u00a0American? It\u00a0can\u2019t be all bad \u2013 MADONNA is, after all.<\/i><\/p>\n Stacy and Ruth ate at The Good Egg<\/a>, London NW1.<\/em> Fancy a blind date? <\/em>![\"Ruth](\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/theguyliner.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/11\/Ruth-and-Stacy-full.jpg?ssl=1\")
<\/a>Ruth<\/span> | Stacy<\/span><\/h5>\n
What were you hoping for?
That she would turn up, and we would both stay for at least the meal!<\/span><\/h5>\nWhat were you hoping for?
To meet someone sporty and chill.<\/span><\/h5>\nFirst impressions?
She was cute, likable, approachable, lovely eyes, great smile.<\/span><\/h5>\n<\/a><\/p>\nFirst impressions?
She seemed a bit nervous.<\/span><\/h5>\nWhat did you talk about?
Oh gosh, loads \u2026 Holidays. Food. Friends \u2013 particularly how hilariously excited our friends were at this blind date! Work. Family.<\/span><\/h5>\nTraining regimens for races. Concepts of home. Family. The joys of going to bed early.<\/span>\u00a0How great Les Mis\u00e9rables is.<\/span><\/h5>\n
Good table manners?
She said she was a messy eater, but she totally wasn\u2019t.<\/span><\/h5>\nExcellent. She was up for sharing all the dishes, which worked as we\u2019re both veggie.<\/span><\/h5>\n
<\/a><\/p>\nBest thing about them?
She was just really, really nice, and made the whole thing much easier than I had anticipated.<\/span><\/h5>\nShe\u2019s really thoughtful, and asked perfectly timed questions. She also had some sage advice about breakups and grief, which I really appreciated.<\/span><\/h5>\n
Would you introduce Ruth to your friends?
For sure, especially the cold water swimmers.<\/span><\/h5>\nDescribe Stacy in three words.
Cute, American (although she wouldn\u2019t like me saying that!), quirky, fascinating \u2026 That\u2019s four things, oops.<\/span><\/h5>\n
AMERICAN<\/strong>, like\u2026 why wouldn\u2019t she like you saying she\u2019s American? Is she *not* American?! Is she from Barnstaple, but does that weird Nickelodeon cartoon voice children always do when they\u2019re playing Barbies or Lego?
QUIRKY<\/strong>, like a crochet top you find in a charity shop (that turns out to be haunted and strangles everyone you love one by one).
FASCINATING<\/strong>, like\u2026 I\u2019m sorry but we have a three-word limit here. I\u2019m not a charity.<\/p>\nDescribe Ruth in three words
Caring, gentle, sporty.<\/span><\/h5>\n
GENTLE<\/strong>, like non-bio fabric conditioner.
SPORTY<\/strong>, like Melanie C.<\/p>\nAnd \u2026 did you kiss?
No, but I wish we had.<\/span><\/h5>\nNo, but we had a nice hug.<\/span><\/h5>\n
<\/a><\/p>\nIf you could change one thing about the afternoon, what would it be?
I wish I hadn\u2019t overthought it all, and had relaxed more. We had a fantastic three hours together and it didn\u2019t drag at all, which is awesome.<\/span><\/h5>\nMore time in the park, as it was such a gorgeous day.<\/span><\/h5>\n
Marks out of 10?
10.<\/span><\/h5>\n9.<\/span><\/h5>\n
Would you meet again?
Hopefully \u2026 keep your fingers crossed for me.<\/span><\/h5>\nYes, we\u2019ve traded numbers. A country walk would be nice, or a cycle ride, though I doubt my bike is as good as hers!<\/span><\/h5>\n
<\/a><\/p>\nSomething to remember about the review and the daters that I put at the end of every review<\/h5>\n
Email blind.date@theguardian.com<\/a><\/em><\/p>\nLike this:<\/h3>\n