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Do you remember where you were the moment the Scandoval news dropped<\/a>? How you gasped with glee when Daphne not-so-subtly hinted she was sleeping with her trainer<\/a> in The White Lotus<\/em>? The way you furiously refreshed Twitter when you found out Tristan reportedly cheated on Khlo\u00e9<\/a> (again)? Infidelity has the entertainment news cycle in a chokehold \u2014 but reactions to each scandal and storyline can vary greatly.<\/p>\n Despite infidelity being largely considered a no-no in our own lives, not all cheaters are treated equally in fictional stories, reality TV, or Hollywood. The same month Tom Sandoval was getting dragged<\/a> for cheating on his longtime partner Ariana Madix with their Vanderpump Rules<\/em> co-star Raquel Leviss, many people were swooning over Billy and Daisy\u2019s slow-burn affair<\/a> in Daisy Jones & The Six<\/em>.<\/p>\n So, what makes some instances of cheating more forgivable than others in the court of public opinion? Below, experts outline the factors \u2014 from our natural psychological responses to PR finessing \u2014 that can influence whether the general consensus surrounding a cheater is one of ire, admiration, or something in between.<\/p>\n According to clinical psychologist Dr. Jaime Zuckerman<\/a>, one key ingredient that differentiates our feelings about cheating in pop culture versus our real lives is the detachment we feel from the former. \u201cIt’s an escape from our own day-to-day mundane life relationships,\u201d she tells Elite Daily. \u201cFor ourselves and for our friends, because we are actually living it and have a front-row ticket, we tend to be more rigid with our rules.\u201d Finding out a friend’s partner cheated<\/a> would be a nightmare \u2014 your friend would be devastated, and you\u2019d be there to help them heal. But when it’s a celebrity or a character in a TV show, you can relish in the drama without having to bear the brunt of the betrayal yourself.<\/p>\n If more distance from the cheating equals more flexibility in our judgment, this can help explain why fictional characters tend to get more leeway than public figures \u2014 for example, Fitz and Olivia\u2019s<\/a> extramarital relationship on Scandal<\/em> was much more palatable than former Try Guy Ned Fulmer\u2019s affair<\/a> (even though in both cases, there were some off-kilter power dynamics at play). \u201cYour brain knows with fiction that [while] you maybe can relate to it, it’s not real,\u201d Zuckerman says. \u201cWhereas when it’s happening [to celebrities], you realize, \u2018Oh, this could happen to me.\u2019\u201d<\/p>\n Fictional characters also get a leg up because viewers get access to a more complete story. \u201cSure, we can cast judgment upon a character in a moment, but we stick around knowing there is an ending coming,\u201d Liz Duff,<\/a> viral publicity analyst and pop culture commentator, says. \u201cWe don\u2019t always get that with stories involving real people.\u201d With fictional cheating, audiences are often told, both directly and indirectly, how to feel \u2014 it\u2019s part of the storytelling.<\/p>\n Take Daisy and Billy in Daisy Jones<\/em>. A married man and father betraying his beautiful, devoted wife<\/a> to make out and do drugs with his sexy bandmate? Objectively bad. But make them soulmates with similar traumas<\/a> and enough heat between them to burn down the whole stage<\/a>, and it doesn\u2019t seem quite so terrible<\/a>. \u201cI would like 10 more episodes of them just wildly cheating on everybody together,\u201d pop culture expert and TikTok commentator Vicky Sparks<\/a> says. \u201cWhen we put it under that banner of twin flame, soulmate, explosive chemistry, what else were they supposed to do? We forgive it.\u201d<\/p>\n If we feel like we understand why the person did it, we can relate and be more empathic.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n Revenge cheating also tends to get a pass. Amid Daisy and Billy\u2019s epic will-they-won\u2019t-they saga, Billy\u2019s wife Camila has an implied tryst with Billy\u2019s bandmate, Eddie. But fans of the show didn\u2019t hate Camila for what she did \u2014 in fact, many celebrated her<\/a> for going out and making a secret of her own<\/a> after years of being hurt by her husband\u2019s duplicity.<\/p>\n Daphne Sullivan, It Girl of The White Lotus<\/em> Season 2, was also a fan-fave \u2014 not despite her cheating on her philandering husband, Cameron<\/a>, but largely because of it. \u201cShe was surviving her marriage,\u201d pop culture commentator Alexandra Nikolajev<\/a> says. \u201cCam was a huge jerk \u2026 it was hard to feel sorry for him and easy to side with Daphne.\u201d<\/p>\n While not as overt, the narratives surrounding celebrity cheaters can also shape public opinion. \u201cIf we feel like we understand why the person did it, or they have had trauma or tragedies that have influenced their romantic choices, we can relate and be more empathic,\u201d Meredith Prescott,<\/a> LCSW and couples therapist, tells Elite Daily. \u201c[People tend to give cheaters] a pass when the person they cheated on isn\u2019t that likable or has done heinous things.\u201d Take Princess Diana. The late royal icon admitted to being unfaithful<\/a> during her marriage to Charles, but fans could hardly turn on her when they knew about Charles and Camilla\u2019s affair<\/a> and the trauma Diana reportedly went through<\/a> as a royal \u2014 and this was even before her tragic death solidified her legacy as the People\u2019s Princess.<\/p>\n The inverse is true as well, as Adam Levine experienced in September 2022 when IG model Sumner Stroh claimed she\u2019d had an affair with him<\/a>. Levine denied physically cheating<\/a>, but the reported screenshots of his flirty messages<\/a> to Stroh and others were damning enough to turn public opinion against him\u2026 especially considering his wife, Behati Prinsloo, was pregnant with their third child<\/a> when the scandal broke.<\/p>\n \u201cViewing the messages makes it feel more personal [and] real to the audience \u2014 it gives you a stronger reaction, like your heart is sinking for his wife,\u201d Prescott says. \u201cIt also was a time when she was incredibly vulnerable, which makes this way worse for his reputation.\u201d<\/p>\n Then there\u2019s Good Morning America <\/em>hosts <\/em>Amy Robach and TJ Holmes\u2019 alleged affair in late 2022. It was juicy, sure, but it managed to stay out of \u201cdisgraceful\u201d territory for a number of reasons. Unlike Levine, who was messaging with fans, Robach and Holmes had less of an ick factor since they were co-hosts of equal status. Their years of on-camera chemistry, followed by lovey-dovey public appearances<\/a> post-scandal, actually made it hard for people to root against them. \u201cThese two just seemed so happy,\u201d Nikolajev says. \u201cIt also appears that they were already removed from their current partners<\/a> \u2014 or that\u2019s the sign of a strong PR team!\u201d<\/p>\n You know what\u2019s too powerful to be PR\u2019ed away? Misogyny, baby! It\u2019s always been more dangerous \u2014 socially<\/a>, legally<\/a>, and physically<\/a> \u2014 for women to practice infidelity, and public opinion has reflected this at every turn. Author and female sexuality expert Dr. Wednesday Martin<\/a> points to the colonial period, when women could receive harsher sentences than men<\/a> for sexual encounters outside their marriage, as an example, noting that \u201cOur country still reeks of these foundational hypocrisies.\u201d<\/p>\n Case in point: The harsh treatment of women who have cheated in Hollywood. When Kristen Stewart was photographed kissing<\/a> her Snow White and the Huntsman <\/em>director back in 2012, thus tarnishing the public\u2019s image of her relationship with Twilight <\/em>co-star Robert Pattinson<\/a>, fans swiftly turned on her<\/a>. Stewart also claimed the scandal was the reason she wasn\u2019t hired<\/a> for the Snow White <\/em>sequel. More recently, despite Jada Pinkett Smith and Will Smith confirming her \u201centanglement\u201d with August Alsina was not, in fact, infidelity<\/a>, Pinkett Smith continues to be the butt of \u201ccheating\u201d jokes<\/a>, while Smith\u2019s own admitted extramarital relationships<\/a> (which he subtly confirmed in a 2021 GQ <\/em>interview) fly under the radar.<\/p>\n These patriarchal double standards are so deeply rooted, society is primed to believe women just don\u2019t (and shouldn\u2019t) cheat as often as men<\/a>. But the reality, per Susan Shapiro Barash,<\/a> author and researcher on women\u2019s infidelity, is that \u201c70% of women at some point in their lives will have some sort of affair<\/a>.\u201d<\/p>\n That reality may feel more palatable in works of fiction, especially in recent years. As more women take the helm as writers and directors, women in TV and movies are evolving to be more complex \u2014 so when they cheat, it\u2019s not always a black-or-white, right-or-wrong situation. There are those who are truly in love (Daisy Jones) and those getting even (Camila Dunne), but there are also those who are just\u2026 living their lives. Succession<\/em>\u2019s Shiv Roy, for example, may have been unfaithful, but fans know her infidelity is a small piece of the much bigger, twisted puzzle of Tom and Shiv\u2019s messy marriage<\/a> \u2014 and besides, they love her too much<\/a> to judge too harshly.<\/p>\n These fictional characters are afforded more nuance than celebrities, to be sure \u2014 but their gender may also play a role in how the public perceives them. \u201cThere are always harsher judgments when it comes to women and affairs,\u201d Barash says. \u201c[But] what I’m seeing is more understanding of what women long for and of what they endure in these relationships.\u201d When we forgive female characters for cheating (or even cheer them on), perhaps on some level, it\u2019s a way to push back \u2014 a symbolic middle finger to safely flash at the patriarchy.<\/p>\n When all is said and done, opinions on cheating in pop culture aren\u2019t so far removed from opinions on cheating IRL. \u201cI think people have very strong feelings about real-life cheating situations \u2026 [but they\u2019re] not able, for lots of reasons, to express themselves 100% truthfully,\u201d Sparks says. \u201c[With pop culture], there are no feelings to protect because we don’t know these people, so you don’t have to hold back.\u201d You can root for the cheater, or despise them, or post a 10-minute TikTok unpacking the intricacies of why you think they did it.<\/p>\n That\u2019s a big reason why cheating discourse is so prevalent, and can be toxic \u2014 especially on social media. (As Sparks puts it: \u201cTikTok is where nuance goes to die.\u201d) Our digital echo chambers of group chats and For You Pages make idea-sharing easy, but they aren\u2019t equipped to paint the full picture of any cheating scenario, including the vast range of personal beliefs, values, and experiences that inform our individual opinions about them.<\/p>\n So no, a single meme can\u2019t possibly convey all the complexities of a cheating scandal \u2014 just as one singular scandal can\u2019t sum up society\u2019s collective consensus on cheating. But the discourse surrounding these moments can teach us a thing or two about how people view infidelity, sometimes even profoundly so. Who knew Tom Sandoval wielded that much power?<\/p>\nThe Less Cheating Feels Like Reality, The More Acceptable It Seems<\/strong><\/h2>\n
Fans Love A Good Story<\/strong><\/h2>\n
Context (& Good PR) Is Key<\/strong><\/h2>\n
Gender Matters\u2026 Because Of Course It Does<\/strong><\/h2>\n
Pop Culture May Not Be So Different From Real Life<\/h2>\n